Egg Donor IVF for Gay Men
Egg donation is one way for gay men to experience biological parenthood. This path involves choosing an egg donor and working with a gestational carrier (sometimes called a surrogate). This article lays out the general steps involved with donor egg IVF for gay intended parents.
Note: while this article focuses on cisgender gay men, the information may also apply to transgender, gender non-conforming, and nonbinary (TGNB) individuals with sperm. For more information on TGNB fertility, take a look at these articles from our partner clinic, Pacific Northwest Fertility (PNWF).
Make an Appointment with a Fertility Specialist
Every patient seeking fertility treatment should start with an initial fertility evaluation and consultation. First, you’ll go over your health history, family health history, fertility goals, and any specific concerns. If you are pursuing parenthood with a partner, they should participate as well. Based on this meeting, your fertility provider will recommend certain tests to provide an overall fertility assessment. For gay men, this assessment typically involves a semen analysis and a general physical exam. After completing the testing, you will go over the results with your fertility team and review the next steps and options.
Decide Donation Logistics
Gay men pursuing donor egg IVF need three things: sperm from one or both of the intended fathers, a donor egg, and a gestational carrier. The donor egg is fertilized in a lab with sperm to develop into an embryo, which is transferred into the uterus of a gestational carrier, who carries the pregnancy and delivers the baby.
Deciding Who Will Provide the Sperm
First, you should choose whether one or both of you will be sperm providers. Your fertility assessment may indicate that one partner has more viable sperm, which can factor into the decision. Family medical history and personal preference can also play a role in this decision. If you and your partner wish to have more than one child, you could each provide sperm for separate pregnancies. If you use the same egg donor, then your children will share a genetic relationship to each other.
Identified vs. Non-Identified Egg Donors
You also will need to decide what type of donor egg arrangement you wish to pursue. Egg donors can either be identified or non-identified. Identified donors are known to the intended parents, for instance a family member or a friend. On the other hand, intended parents who choose a Non-identified donor do not receive identifying information about their donor. Both donation methods are valid, and each comes with their own considerations.
Surrogacy Options for Gay Men Using Donor Egg IVF
Similarly, your gestational carrier (GC) can either be a family member/friend or someone previously unknown to you, typically found through a surrogacy agency. Unlike egg donation, however, there’s no such thing as a non-identified GC. While you and your GC will decide whether or not you wish to have a relationship after the baby’s birth, you will at the very least be working together and communicating for the length of the surrogacy process, which typically lasts at least a year.
Create a Financial Plan
Donor egg IVF for gay men involves a significant financial investment, often in the hundreds of thousands of dollars. While you don’t need to have that amount in cash sitting at your fingertips before scheduling your first appointment, it’s important to have a plan for paying for treatment. There are a variety of financial resources for gay men seeking fatherhood through assisted reproduction, including fertility grants. The financial counselors at our partner clinic, PNWF, can help chart an affordable plan for egg donor IVF.
Choose Your Egg Donor & Surrogate
Once you decide what kind of donor arrangement you’d like to have, you can choose your donor and GC. If you wish to work with a friend or family member for either egg donation or surrogacy, they will need to pass certain medical guidelines. If you work with a donor egg bank or agency and a surrogacy agency, they typically have their own databases of donors and GCs. You (and your partner, if applicable) should take some time to determine your priorities when choosing an egg donor. We have an additional article on tips for choosing an egg donor.
SIMPLIFY Egg Bank Is Here to Help You Navigate Donor Egg IVF
There’s a lot to consider with donor egg IVF for gay men. And while it can seem overwhelming at first, we have resources and expertise to help you at each step of the way. Taken one step at a time, this path to parenthood can be exciting and rewarding. For more information, check out our article on men having babies. And to start your journey, reach out to us today.